


Fallen Star

by Mercyisnotasignofweakness



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Underfell, Diary/Journal, F/M, Falling In Love, Forbidden Love, It's a story told through Gaster's logs during an experiment, POV First Person, Scientific Logs, WARNING: Ending is NOT happy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-24
Updated: 2016-12-24
Packaged: 2018-09-08 23:49:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,315
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8868010
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mercyisnotasignofweakness/pseuds/Mercyisnotasignofweakness
Summary: It’s a ordinary cabinet at first glance. Minimal decoration, all made of metal. It stands in one corner of the room, hidden under a dusty cloth like every other piece of furniture. When revealed, it seems even less impressive. The sides are lightly scratched and rusted, and there’s a large dent in one side. On top stands an old-fashioned recorder, placed next to a notepad. There’s only a few words written on it.   “There are many reasons why, but this one is the most significant.”Inside the cabinet, every shelf is stacked with boxes containing small tapes that seem to fit the recorder on top. Each tape has a number marked in black ink on the side. It almost seems like they were prepared before being left here.The recorder clicks on without problems.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Lunar_Revolver](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lunar_Revolver/gifts).



> For my friend Luna, the amazing woman who brings joy and kindness to my life. I hope you will enjoy your fic, and please forgive me for this. You will know for what once you have read the story. 
> 
> Merry Christmas!
> 
> \- Mercy 
> 
>  
> 
> _Beta-read by[Shiv](http://shivra.tumblr.com/). Thanks for the help! You're the best! <3 _

# Fallen Star

 

 
    
    
     _I saw a star slide down the sky,_  
    
    _Blinding the north as it went by,_  
    
    _Too burning and too quick to hold,_  
    
    _Too lovely to be bought or sold,_  
    
    _Good only to make wishes on_  
    
    _And then forever to be gone._

_[\- Sara Teasdale, 1884-1933](https://www.poets.org/poetsorg/poem/falling-star) _

 

* * *

**_Project Fallen Star, log one. Today is October 16th, 20XX._ **

_These will be my personal logs, containing my thoughts throughout this project._

_Something extraordinary happened. A human fell and was captured near Snowdin town. That in itself is not an occurrence worthy of an audio log: Humans tend to fall all the time. Sometimes they’re dead at arrival and their Souls long gone. Sometimes they’re just too weak to be of any use._

_This one is larger, however, and seems much more aware. It is described to show a higher level of intelligence than the others, if the Guards responsible for its capture is to be believed. I cannot say for sure before it arrives, but I suspect we might be dealing with an adult. The possibilities posed by the thorough examination of an adult Human are seemingly endless. Perhaps this is the missing link I’ve been trying to locate for Project Blaster. I managed to talk the King into letting me examine it before he harvested its Soul. I don’t have long before the King will grow impatient, so I need to work fast._

 

**_Project Fallen Star, log two. October 17th, 20XX._ **

_The Human arrived. Initial examination confirms my suspicions. We are dealing with a fully grown specimen. Unlike the younger ones, this one does show a heightened sense of awareness and intelligence. It seemed apprehensive at the sight of me, and even when left alone with me and after my attempt to appear empathic and trustworthy, it still appeared to be distrustful of me. I refrained from recording the session as to avoid causing the human more stress. It would be much more beneficial for me if it would cooperate. It would cut the time needed to examine it by almost 50%._

_It was taken to the dungeon for the night. I’m expected at the castle to deliver my preliminary report to the King. I will try to be granted more time to try and win the Human’s trust. I must make Asgore see that harvesting the Soul is not as important as gaining knowledge of these creatures. Perhaps if I attempt to appeal to his bloodthirsty side… A new weapon made from the power of a Human Soul might entice him enough to grant me a few months at the least. That could certainly be applied to Project Blaster in the future._

 

**_Project Fallen Star, log three. October 19th, 20XX._ **

_The King has given me six months and appointed me as the sole caretaker of the Human. His only demand was that it never leaves the lower Labs and it is locked in its cell every night with restraints so it can’t escape. It wouldn’t get far even if it managed to escape the cell - not with the security we have - but it’s a good precaution to take. We have no idea what this Human is capable of. It has already proven itself much different than the younger versions in both physical power and willpower. It is refusing to eat or drink anything presented to it and I have yet to hear it speak. It almost feels as if it’s trying to take control in the only way it can. I might need to have it force-fed if it continues to refuse nourishment. I can’t have it starving or dehydrating to death. It has apparently been forced to drink by the guards once while on the way here, so it should survive a few days even if it continues to refuse water._

_Appropriate living quarters for the Human and myself are being built at this very moment. I won’t leave the lower Labs until my research is done. There’s not enough time._

 

**_Project Fallen Star, log four. October 20th, 20XX._ **

_First attempt at gaining the Human’s trust failed. Its condition has worsened dangerously. I have been forced to take action. It will stay unconscious while I make sure it’s fully nourished. When it has returned to a stable condition I will allow it to wake up in its cell so it isn’t put through too much distress._

 

**_Project Fallen Star, log five. October 25th, 20XX._ **

_I continue to attempt to engage the Human in conversation. I know from the other Humans that they do possess the ability to communicate in a language we both understand. It has been a while since my last use of the Human language though. I am a bit rusty, but my magic should fill in any holes my lack of talent leaves behind. I’m positive the Human understands me perfectly and is just being difficult._

_I’m having difficulty deciding how to break through to it. It’s proving to be much more troublesome than anticipated. The only other Human I have examined was not this cautious, nor as frightened. It seemed to soften to me after I pretended to be on it’s side. But this Human seems to know I am being dishonest when I promise no harm will come to it. Like it knows I’m lying._

_I might need to change my tactics._

 

**_Project Fallen Star, log six. November 2nd, 20XX._ **

_It spoke today. “I should have listened” was all it said. I do not believe it was aware of my presence in the room._

 

**_Project Fallen Star, log seven. November 15th, 20XX._ **

_I had a breakthrough. The Human eats and drinks by itself now and even replies occasionally when I speak to it. It has taken some time, but it seems like my new approach has been a success._

_Since it seemed so distrustful when I attempted to trick it, I decided to see how it would react to me without any deception. Surprisingly enough, it responded positively, despite my personality not being anywhere near pleasant to be around. I’m well aware of that. After a few short moments it relaxed and seemed more interested in listening to me. I told it the truth instead of lying and while the truth is in no way a pleasant thing for it, it seems like it has somehow eased some of its unease. Apparently knowing it will be killed in five months calms it. When I asked why it reacted like that, it just smiled at me. I will try asking again later._

 

**_Project Fallen Star, log eight. November 16th, 20XX._ **

_I found the Human crying in its cell today when I arrived for the daily conversation. It refused to acknowledge me. I’m unsure why this behavior unsettles me as much as it does._

 

**_Project Fallen Star, log nine. November 19th, 20XX._ **

_It’s been three days since it ate or spoke last. It just lies on its bed with its back turned towards the bars. I think it might be experiencing emotional trauma. I recognize the behavior. Monsters act like this right before they become ill. In the end, if left untreated, they fall down._

_I must do something._

 

**_Project Fallen Star, log ten. November 19th, 20XX._ **

_[Sounds of movement - footsteps] This is recorded as I make my way towards the Human’s cell. I have decided to attempt treatment as if it was a monster to see if it will respond to it. I have no time to switch tapes, so this will have to go to my personal logs._

_So far my other attempts at communicating with it has been one-sided. It won’t respond to me. I’m out of options and starting to feel a bit desperate. I cannot lose this specimen before having the opportunity to examine it. If this doesn’t work, I will be forced to proceed regardless of the distress it will put the Human through. It might be more difficult but it is far better than losing the data hiding inside it._

_[Door opens and closes. More footsteps, this time on stone instead of wood. When they stop there is a sound of someone sitting down. For a long while there are no sounds besides the breathing of two people and the hum of electricity.]_

_[Gaster] I’m aware that you are in distress and I would like for you to tell me the cause of it._

_[Human] Why? [The voice is low and hoarse.]_

_[Gaster] So I can help._

_[Human] How can you help? You are the cause of it. You trapped me here._

_[Gaster] That is incorrect. It is King Asgore who ordered your capture and imprisonment here in my facility._

_[Human] Do you want me to believe that you had nothing to do with it? I only see you. No one else. Never seen Asgore either._

_[Gaster] I do admit I was part of the reason you ended up here. Without me, the King would have harvested your Soul as soon as you were brought to the castle. I’m the reason you are still alive._

_[Human] Am I supposed to be grateful?_

_[Gaster] No._

_[Silence.]_

_[Human] Why do you even care?_

_[Gaster] I don’t. But your condition is worsening every second and I need to keep you alive for a while longer so I can examine you properly. It’s for the good of my species. If speaking about the problem helps, then I am forced to do that no matter my personal preference._

_[There is a short silence.]_

_[Human] I like you better when you tell the truth._

_[Gaster] Noted._

_[The rest of the tape is corrupted. It ends after a short whirring noise. It sounds like the tape is broken.]_

 

**_Project Fallen Star, log eleven. December 17th, 20XX._ **

_I’ve been neglecting these logs. It is time I catch up._

_Since my last log, a lot of things have happened. The Human has been cooperating with me and been willingly submitting itself to my tests and examinations of its body and its Soul. It seems like telling the truth, no matter how harsh it is, is always appreciated by it. It makes it more cooperative. It’s a strange thing, but I refuse to question it. I have already discovered much more than ever known before and I’m positive I found the solution for at least a dozen old projects that almost got scrapped. Project Blaster is almost complete and it’s phenomenal! Perhaps we won’t even need the Souls of more Humans. I believe the Blaster’s ability to harvest the energy of the Human Souls we have already collected might be enough to destroy the barrier._

_I’m getting off track. This is not the log for Project Blaster. [He clears his throat.]_

_The Human continues to grow more and more accustomed to my presence. It seems like it prefers some treatments over others, prefers specific behavior patterns from me; it finds joy in the strangest things - like the Soul Spectrometer before it’s even turned on - and even attempts to bargain for favors in exchange for tests I want to do. I have been humoring it, only because it makes me able to do so much more than if I had to force it to obey me. I would never have gotten the amount of results I have now if I had not been patient._

_The Human asked to be included in everything I do to it. It seems interested in the science behind the tests and even the results. I often find myself talking for too long about one subject, but it never seems like it feels bored. On the contrary, it seems_ intrigued _about what I’m teaching it. It has been a long while since I felt the rush of pride after ending a successful teaching session._

_It also requested time to roam outside its cell. Apparently humans can become ill with an, until now, unknown human disease called “cabin fever” if left in enclosed spaces for too long without being able to move around outside. I’m not sure of the level of truth in this, since the human often starts to laugh when I come to take it for a walk to keep the “cabin fever” at bay, but it does seem to have improved its mood greatly, so I will continue to walk it around the halls of the Lab. It’s not like it can escape, even if it somehow managed to either kill me or knock me unconscious. There’s too much security that requires me to get through._

_I will try to be better at recording these logs in the future._

 

**_Project Fallen Star, log fourteen. December 25th, 20XX._ **

_The Human cried again today. It seems to do that often, but only when it thinks I’m nowhere near it. I don’t think it’s aware of the camera in its cell yet._

_When I asked what was wrong with it this time, it begged me to let it go home to its family. I left without bothering to answer. Why would it be foolish enough to think it can be granted something not even I can do? I’m just as trapped down here as it is. It might be Gyftmas Eve, but it’s not a happy one. Santa doesn't visit secret labs._

 

**_Project Fallen Star, log twentyone. December 31th, 20XX._ **

_The Human asked me to call it by name and not its species. Apparently that is rude. It requested that if I refused to call it by name, at least give it a codename. I settled for FS, standing for Fallen Star, to appease it._

_It also requested me to stop calling it an “it”. That is apparently even more rude than referring to it by species. It informed me that it uses female pronouns. I will have to practice but I will do it. Upsetting it - no,_ her - _just to follow my standard procedures are foolish. I can gain far more from her than she can ever gain from me using her preferred pronoun._

_I don’t see why it is so important for her, but for the sake of the project, I will endure._

 

**_Project Fallen Star, log thirty two. February 6th, 20XX._ **

_FS has started to behave strangely. She observes me far more than usual and jerks violently when I catch her watching me. She appears ashamed of her actions and acts even stranger when confronted about it. I’ll write it off as some human error for now, but I will observe._

 

**_Project Fallen Star, log thirty three. February 7th, 20XX._ **

_She laughed at one of my jokes. Usually nobody finds them funny, possibly because of the scientific nature of them, but she apparently did. I’m u… [A door opens.]_

_Gaster? Where did you put the-_

_[The recording ends suddenly.]_

 

**_Project Fallen Star, log thirty four. February 14th, 20XX._ **

_FS has become very… physical. She touches me more and more every day and I’m unsure why. I keep monitoring my own health and my Soul, but so far there has been no alterations despite the weird feelings I’ve been experiencing. I feel lightheaded every time she comes near and when she touches me it feels like there is an electrical current travelling through my body. She_ must _be doing something to me, but I’m not sure what. It’s not anything visible in my tests._

_The tests done on her Soul reveals her to be a mix of Blue and Green. Integrity and Kindness. I’ve never seen a combination of powers in a Soul before. Usually it’s either one or the other. Never two at the same time. Perhaps that is why her strange magic is not picked up by my machines._

 

**_Project Fallen Star, log thirty six. February 15th, 20XX._ **

_She laughed at me for almost ten minutes when I asked her what kind of magic she possesses. I explained the symptoms I have been experiencing and asked her politely to refrain from using magic on me, or I would be forced to take her privileges from her. After she was able to breathe normally again, she just looked at me with a big smile and told me I would figure it out eventually._

_She stroked her palm over my scarred cheek again, like she wanted to rub her victory in my face. I’m not sure why my reaction was to lean into it. I’ll catalogue it as another side-effect of her magic._

  
**_Project Fallen Star, log thirty nine. February 27th, 20XX._ **

_The feeling intensified during her usual optical examination today. I noticed her breathing quickening as I was leaned close to examine her eye. I thought she felt frightened so I pulled away to ask what had her acting that way. The last thing I want to do is cause her to pull back from me again. That would be catastrophic after the time I have spent trying to gain her trust._

_When she looked at me, a new feeling struck my Soul. She was so close I could feel her breath on my face and the sensation did something to me. It paralyzed me for several moments but as soon as I looked away everything returned to normal. I’m still unsure what it was. She continues to claim she has no magic, and if that is true, then what is making me behave like this? Am I sick?_

 

**_Project Fallen Star, log forty. February 28th, 20XX._ **

_I have been compromised._

 

**_Project Fallen Star, log forty one. March 18th, 20XX._ **

_I have distanced myself from the Human for several weeks, sacrificing the possible breakthroughs examining it would bring me, to make sure I have regained control of myself. The Human is distressed and constantly attempts to persuade me to let it out. I have let a few Guards feed it for the past week, to distance myself. Hopefully without prolonged exposure, whatever the Human did to me will fade and so will the undesired side effects._

 

**_Project Fallen Star, log forty two. ** _March_** 19th, 20XX._ **

_It didn’t work. It seems like FS was telling the truth. She is not the cause of this. My own weakness, my inability to control my own Soul, is the cause of this._

_I’ve decided to continue my work, despite this development. The future of monsters is far more important than what will happen to me once it is completed. Now that I know it is not her doing, but only my own stupidity, I can take precautions._

_Whatever consequences I have to endure after the project is terminated is worth the freedom of my people._

 

**_Project Fallen Star, log forty eight. ** _March_** 23th, 20XX._ **

_Even though I know what is happening to me now, I seem unable to stop myself from reacting to her as I do. My Soul seems enthralled by her. Her very presence tempts me. The scent of her hair or the feeling of her fingers as she brushes them over my shoulders. She has become far more comfortable with touching me, especially after I haven’t reacted to her doing it. It seems like my lack of reaction outwards encourages her to continue. She has even gone as far as to hug me from behind while I’m working at the microscope or computer._

_My desire to return her affections are enormous, but I must be strong. I cannot let something like this cloud my judgement. I’m stronger than these primitive emotions. What kind of scientist would I be if I allowed myself to be manipulated by a test subject?_

 

**_Project Fallen Star, log fifty two. April 1st, 20XX._ **

_I’m… not sure if I should still be in charge of this project. I made a mistake and let myself be compromised. Not only that, but I failed to withstand her alluring person. I… We..._

_She kissed me. [There’s a sound of disgust.] Just admitting it out loud feels like a betrayal. I can’t believe myself! She is a_ Human _._ **_The enemy._ ** _Part of a species that slaughtered almost my entire people and caused so much grief. She belongs in the world that is responsible for driving my people insane. I should not be harboring these feelings for a creature that vicious and cruel!_

 _They_ **_trapped_ ** _us! For_ **_centuries_ ** _, because_ one _monster made a mistake!_

_[Deep sigh. The anger vanishes from his voice.] I know she’s not responsible. Not directly. She wasn’t even alive all those years ago. Humans have a ridiculously short lifespan. It seems like their physically dense tissue and their powerful Souls destroy their bodies at a rapid speed. 75, maybe 100 years at best and their body will give up on them. She couldn’t have anything to do with our people’s suffering. And if she is to be believed… No one remembers we are even down here. Humans have forgotten about us. Perhaps… their continued imprisonment of us is not because of cruelty, but because of ignorance. She even claims that they don’t have magic any longer. I know it sounds absurd, but after the tests I’ve done on her Soul, tests that would normally reveal magic... I must admit I believe her._

_I’m torn. It has been a long time since I felt like I lacked the answers to the questions asked. A long time since I felt powerless. I have no plan and no idea how to proceed. Protocol dictates that I should step down and let someone else take over, but that means putting her in danger. Abandoning her. My Soul refuses to let me do that. Just the thought alone hurts. I know it’s what I’m supposed to do, but…_

_Oh brothers. I’m sure you would have known exactly what to do in a situation like this. You were always far more socially advanced than me. [He chuckles softly. The sound is rough.] I bet Sans would find the situation I have put myself in immensely hilarious. Papyrus… Well I’m sure he would call me an idiot for even allowing myself to fall this far._

_I miss them greatly, I must admit. They are the only thing I look forward to after this nightmare is over._

 

**_Project Fallen Star, log fifty three. April 4th, 20XX._ **

_It seems like these logs have become more of a journal than anything that holds any kind of scientific importance. It is for the best, perhaps. I’ve already decided to hide them and fake a water pipe breaking, leaving empty tapes for the King’s men to find. They will believe my tapes were destroyed._

_I can never tell anyone what happened down here with FS. It would cost me not only my job, but my freedom and my family as well. Being compromised like this is not something the King forgives. It’s also why I’ve been neglecting to mention the nature of our “relationship” in my weekly reports to Asgore. I just hope he won’t read them too closely and notice how thin and empty for results they have become. I’m trying to buy her time, but judgement day is closing in on us. I don’t know what to do. It’s all still so new and frightening. I don’t have the answers and yet, I still feel like it’s a fight worth fighting. How strange is that?_

 

**_Project Fallen Star, log sixty. April 24th, 20XX._ **

_[For the first thirty seconds there is nothing being said. Only the distant ambient sounds of the Lab are heard behind the slow breathing of someone close to the recorder.]_

_What I feared have happened. I have been ordered to let the Human go. Asgore has grown impatient after the lack of results provided and he wants to start the Hunt I delayed by asking permission to examine the Human. I have not told her yet, but I assume her reaction will be… Unpleasurable. I believe she will be greatly displeased with me. But what can I do? I have orders._

_[There is a deep sigh.] I feel reluctant to obey the King’s order. It is a strange combination of emotion that stirs in my chest at the mere thought of letting her loose in the Underground. It is no longer the destruction of my home at her hands I fear - I know she is in no way capable of such a thing, despite having more than enough power to do so. I’ve tried coming up with scenarios that could mean her escape and survival without compromising me or my family but as of yet, I haven’t found any solutions. I’m literally running out of time and my head refuses to cooperate. It’s too busy paying attention to the desperate and terrified howling of my Soul._

_Being objective is becoming an increasingly difficult task, one that I have already failed miserably at. I feel… fear. Incredible, unspeakable fear at the thought of her fast approaching end. I’ve known all along where this would lead and that some day not even my influence would save her. But for some reason it still feels shocking to me. Impossible. I feel physically unable to obey the orders given to me. And yet, this very afternoon, I’m expected to carry them out._

_Stars… What shall I do?_

 

**_Project Fallen Star, log sixty one. April 25th, 20XX._ **

_It’s either her or my brothers. Asgore gave me one hour._

_Stars forgive me for what I’m about to do._

 

**_Project Fallen Star, log sixty two. April 25th, 20XX._ **

_[A loud, resounding ring of a bell is heard. It is obvious that it is heard through many layers of walls and comes from far away. It sounds almost haunting in a way, an echoing drone that easily makes chills run down your spine. No sooner has it stopped before a muffled chorus of cheers is heard from other rooms. The words “three more to freedom!” are repeated over and over again.]_

_[Gaster’s voice is dead and monotone when he speaks]_

_As of this moment, Project Fallen Star has been terminated._

_[The recording ends.]_


End file.
